You wanna know what a person looks like when they've completely mentally broken down?

Been tired as fuck all day.
I had to canvass downtown, in a rainy day, where everyone had a very annoyed look on their faces, people giving me attitude left and right because they had their own problems, whole backpack gets soaked, everything in it wet... everything was going really bad for me, and it felt like everyone was giving me a hard time. I was extremely close to snapping... so close... but stayed sane cause I had awesome co-workers. Thanks to Polyna, Adrian and Lovepreet, I survived. I joked with them the whole time I was in the office, and in the subway. I thought I felt better. The day wasn't as bad as I thought it was...

Then? I get the FUCK HOME... the two ladies in the house starts a fight over SPILLED OIL. OVER FUCKING SPILLED OIL. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? Both women, loudly screaming at the top of their lungs, because one of them spilled oil and thought she spilled water instead! So the other woman is yelling at her calling her a liar and things escalate.

DID I REALLY FUCKING NEED THIS?

GOD, as if these two women aren't already the most juvenile people I've known my whole life, here I thought they're finally on better terms, to better cope with the fact theres two women and only one man in the house. Things were normal for a good number of years weren't they? Why of all fucking days, did it have to be today? They had to escalate a huge fight just today? The day I'm THIS || fuckin close to snapping?

I don't remember the last time I had a huge crying session...
But this marks the day.

What's new, Tony?

Nothing my good sir! What about you?
Nothing much either. Just the usual. Tony, do you have any better questions to ask of me?
Not really Tony... you know, I do know you better than anyone else.
Tch, I'll bet you don't know what my favourite food is.
Chocolate.
Dammit.

So what's happenin everyone?
I just realized I haven't been blogging for the past week, mainly because of all the exams coming up and all and it made me realize how crazy things have been!
So I've done some training for the first time as a supervisor and... I think I did okay!
I think I came off a little intimidating at first... but what can I say? I'm... (I won't say it.)
I'm gonna be so happy if they pass their evals... it'll feel like I was a part of their success.
Oh the joy of being a supervisor... and the amount of joy, pride, ego, showing off, mean, horrifying, evil, dark schemes that all goes along with it... muahahahahaha. Oh wait, Halloween was two months ago.. my apologies.

CHRISTMAS IS COMING UP! HOLY BASHIZZLES!
Yes I said Bashizzles. I'm that excited.
My days after the 15th are all going to be fruitful and exciting.
Particular days I look forward to are:
17th - LAST EXAM. Booya. And dinner out!
18th - SPARROW SERVICES POTLUCK!! WOOOOT!
19th - Milliken Gospel Church Christmas evening! Yay!
20th - Mr.Sexy Poppy Adrian's Plaaayyyy... JUUUSSSTT VISSITIINN
23rd - Christmas gathering with friends! EXCITEMENT!
24th - Sleep in after getting a total hangover from 23rd, duhhhhh
25th - CHRISTMAS!
26th - BOXING DAY!!!!!!

Extremely happy. Super looking forward to it.
The only blockades as of now are the exams.
Aside from that... its time to enjoy the full force of CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR.

Oh and...
MERRY CHRISTMAS! (Not "happy holiday bullcrap!") =D

Haircuts

Say, have any of you ever had the same feeling where everytime you get a new haircut, the haircut simply doesn't seem to fit no matter how you look at it?
For the ladies, I don't know if you feel the same way (unless maybe you went from uber long hair to uber short hair), but for the men... what do you all you think?

I supposedly got a "new hairstyle"... but it looks very similar to my previous one if you ask me.

The focus point of this one is to have short sides, short back, but a longer front.
So the hair on my sides are short, and the hair at the back is also short, but the hair in the front is readily styled. Of course, my web cam has terrible quality so its probably a little harder to see.

Now, it really does look similar to my old hairstyle:


This is the only picture I could find which matches closely to how my hair looked after my new haircut about 2 months ago. I guess with this one, the hair at the sides span out a lil more to make me look like a mini ostrich... (sp?)

This new one looks fun to gel up though. Heheheheheh..

The things I am good at... (Reflection of Jay's post)

What am I good at?
I'm taking... ages to think about it...
Jays standing right beside me waiting for it...
tapping his foot... looking at me funny...
and hitting me in the face repeatedly... (lightly)

I know I'm good at programming... but what else? Let's throw that aside. It doesn't count.
I've gotten a lot better at socializing and reading what needs to be said I guess... but... what else?
Hmmmmm.... I'm NOT good at gaming. I might like it, but I'm definitely not "good" at it.

I'd say I'm pretty good at writing.
Or at least I've been told at that.

But now here's the catch.
And I just realized... if no computers exists...
I'd be pretty SOL.

Lets get it out of my system. Regarding Babies.

Odd title isn't it?
Now here's the jist of it all.

My ITM430 class is a class about System design and implementation.
Now, throughout the entire semester, it felt like a huge review to me since I've done it all in the past. Apparently, its not limited to just me, but even to the students who've been Ryerson students since day one of their post secondary education life.

Now what's wrong with that?
Nothing really. Its a stupid course, completely pointless and a waste of time.
The only opportunities given to me through it is to pump out assignments that are obviously far too advanced for the scope of the course, not on purpose but because that was what passed for passable grade at Seneca. Sounds fair no? The same piece of work that passes off as incredible here at Ryerson is only considered a B or C mark in Seneca. Surprised? Yeah, all you college haters, note it. Seneca's design and analysis expectations exceed that of Ryerson's. Ryhigh much?

But even that isn't the most disturbing.
The most disturbing is how the class actually snuggles up to the nurturing of the professor.
Yes, I've heard people ask for extensions in the past, and yes I've heard professors extending it... but when it happens a second time, please for the love of... don't extend it a second time.
A student who commits to the course won't need an extension, and those who don't commit aren't going to start the assignment any earlier just because you gave an extension. In fact, it serves the opposite and it puts those who finished for the earlier deadline at a disadvantage. You're probably asking... how? Well, its simple. Because of the extended deadline, prof's expectations have increased slightly, meaning now there's an obligation to try and one up the quality level of your assignment. (And if you say there's no reason to... you've got to be kidding. You'd sit back and relax with that extra time? We're obviously on different commitment levels.)

And why are these extensions happening?
I'm not going to put all the blame on the professor.
Its the class. Please... we're not in elementary school or highschool anymore.
Post-secondary education is here to prepare you for the work field.
Do you think your manager is going to give you an extension on a multi-million project highly dependent on your deadline? Hell to the no! This is an ITM specific course, it should be preparing us for being in a management/analysis position. THIS is in no means anything close to preparing. In fact, it makes me think that RyHigh is just dumbing down this generation.
Yes, we've got extraordinarily low quality education in our highschools already in Canada, but guess what?! Welcome to an all time low quality education and an all time high in "DURRRRR" stupid levels even in our post-secondary years.

Oh wait. That's just RyHigh. I'm sorry.

How I wished I listened to my prof from Seneca earlier... I should have gone to University of Toronto instead for their IT management program. Obviously my ego fits it better there.

I know I sound really over the top here.
But it really pisses me off how babyish my class has become, and how my professor is nurturing them as such. People need to learn what responsibility is.
If the project was assigned a month ago, don't you think starting NEXT WEEK is a little bit... LATE?

Alright. Jo wins. Let's blog.

I couldn't just... leave it in the dark.
Dammit.
Jo said I'd end up blogging about it the minute I got home, or really soon.
I didn't believe her. Nope. But guess what? Its been bugging me a little...

If I don't really fling it out there, doesn't it mean I'm sorta... ashamed of it?
Plus where is my excitement if I'm not constantly talking about it?!
Wouldn't I be lying to my awesome manager if I keep quiet about it?
Not that I've been entirely quiet about it anyways but...

So let's throw it out there!!!
Official Promotion! After having three days of "trying" the position before being officially hired for it, I am now a GTA Direct Dialogue Crew Runner! In short, I'm a supervisor now for the weekend shifts for the CARE Campaign. After going through a phone interview on Friday, and a nervous hour or so of waiting... Jordana called me back and told me that I've been chosen for the position! Yay! (I don't know if I had any competitors... honestly)

For the past week I've led the "team"... first time was with Adrian and I, and for the past two days was with Jo and I. I've worked with them for a month already so I didn't have any actual "responsibilities" with leading the team except to bring the binders, drive, and pick the lunch/break times. But of course, it was still awesome fun.
I drove all the way to Peterborough!

Anyhow, Jay says I don't need to blog about only my work and that I can always blog about something else. So why not?

Let's blog about school......
School is... boring.
Blog finished!

See? This is what happens when I try and blog about school.
There's nothing fascinating about it at all!

Okay, jokes aside, school hasn't been interesting at all.
One of my courses, the ITM430 course is so similar to another course I took back in Seneca that every piece of work I'm doing for it feels like an overachievement. I'm not purposely doing it, its just that I've been tutoring the same crap for a year and a half, and also creating diagrams for such a concept for 2 years already at Seneca. After such repetition, there's really no conflicts when doing these UML diagrams anymore. I could open a book and draw it out easily.

As for the other ummm business management courses.... they're boring.
Math and I don't mix. So there's really nothing I can say about the courses except that thank goodness they're almost over.

RAMSS still has not updated their course selections with times yet so I can't decide on my schedule for next semester. I'm only going to go with four courses this time, seeing how I want to divide my time properly between Sparrow Services and school. But I also want to get my schedule earlier so I can discuss with Jordana about it.

...

What else? I don't know.
I want to swim again. I'll throw that idea out there.

Light of my...

Oh! Before I start this post, I'd like all of you to know about a brand new blog that one of my closest friends have started. Please add it to all your blog rolls! http://jay-xu.blogspot.com/
Most of you who are reading my blog already knows me very well, but for those who do not, Jay is one of my closest friends who I've known since early high-school years. He and several others are the reason I'm still sane today and lived through my depression years of high school. So triple thumbs up for him!

Anyhow, to start off my post I'd like to talk about my sweet sweet manager, Jordana.
What a sweet manager she is. During our training earlier this week, my co-worker Adrian addressed the fact that she was like a motherly figure to us. While it was a completely random fact that caused all of us to go silent for a second... deep down I truly agreed. Jordana's motherly approach at management really puts all of us at ease, keeps us relaxed, while at the same time deeply affects the relationship between the team and her in a positive way.
So yesterday, I fully expected to be able to go out canvassing with Jordana, Polyna and Adrian. I had really looked forward to it. But it turns out Jordana and Polyna couldn't make it to the shift yesterday, so they had put me in charge of leading the rest of the team (which is really just Adrian and I) to Peterborough.

So... it was a bit of a rush. At 9:40 I rushed out the door and drove my way down to the office (which is conveniently right beside the Ted Rogers Building, but inconveniently right beside the whole parade downtown!), where Ross (a new supervisor, who I already can tell is pretty damned cool) handed me the binders and badges that I needed for the day. I drove all the way up to the Don Mill's station, still being 12 minutes late, but still good! Thanks to having a GPS, Adrian and I made it to Peterborough shortly... well one hour and 45 minutes later shortly, and with the help of Adrian we found Peterborough Square, and the bus terminal parking nearby.

Adrian was on fire yesterday. Within the first 20 minutes of canvassing, he already made 30 PAC (which is the term we use for the amount of money made through monthly donations. 30 PAC is equivalent to having one person signed up for 30 dollars monthly)... and shortly after got another 30 dollar pledge (where a person signs, but gives bank/credit card info at a later time). For me, I managed to get about 30 and a 15 one time gift, which isn't too bad either! =P

We went for lunch at around 2:30, and immediately returned to canvassing after.
By the end of the shift, Adrian had 5 PFUs (Phone follow up forms filled out), and the 30 PAC, and 30 Pledge. Crazy. This man is amazing at the job. (Plus, as a bonus, I found out from Jordana that he made another 30 PAC on his FIRST pitch today! Holy smokes!)

So at the end of the shift I realized... we had completely forgotten to take a short break between the end of lunch, and the end of the shift. Its no wonder Adrian and I were freezing by the end of the shift... hahaha....

And so ends my first test as a Crew runner!
I think it went well, albeit almost getting lost here and there.
But that was pretty fun! I'm going to be given two more chances to lead the team this Friday and Saturday (Oh I absolutely LOVE you Jordana for giving me this chance. Thank you thank you thank you! This assuming she actually reads this :P)

I've already sent in my application to become the GTA Direct Dialogue Crew Runner position...
Whether or not I get it, doesn't really matter, although I'd really love to get it.
But before anyone jumps the gun and say I don't care for the job... hear me out:

1) I'd happily give up a supervisor position if I could focus all my shifts entirely to work alongside Polyna, Adrian, and Jo.
2) I currently love Sparrow Services far too much to ever feel even a tiny amount of depression over anything in it.
3) Even if I had to work forever as a canvasser (as of now), I'd happily do it.

Because, to finish the title of this blog...
Light of my life, goes to Sparrow Services.